Garlic Mushrooms - Garlic butter

To start with, get some big Portabella mushrooms. When we say ‘big’ here, think about two or three to a plate. A dinner plate. A big dinner plate :-).

Next, take out the mushroom stalks. This is where I’m supposed to say ‘keep them and use them for… (insert something you never get round to doing here)’. I won’t. Eat them. Raw. They’re good. Alright. OK. If you insist. Chop them and mix them with some shredded cheese. Look at the cheese. Decide you don’t like that cheese. Throw it all away .

OK. Never really throw away cheese. Or mushrooms. But anyway. Eat the damn stalks. They're good for you!

Then chop up some fresh garlic. Don’t chop it too fine. You’re going to make garlic butter. It’s really, really hard. No, really. It is.

OK. It isn’t. Hard to make, I mean. Just don’t tell anyone. It spoils the mystique :-P. Yes, if you insist. You can use store garlic butter if you want. But chop up some garlic anyway .

Make garlic butter.

What do you mean, how? OK. Get a ramekin. Yes, or a little bowl. But don’t call it a little bowl. Pretend it’s a ramekin. Why? Because I said so, that’s why :-P.

Put some butter in the small bo… in the ramekin. How much? It’s going to thickly cover the frilly sides of your mushrooms. Why do mushrooms have frills? Well, they’re Victorian mushrooms. They’re embarrassed. Yes, that means I don’t know. Or I do know and I don’t care :-PP.

Throw your chopped garlic on the top of the butter. Use a fork to mix it in.

Alright. Yes, I probably should have said ‘let the butter get soft' first. So sue me :-).

Throw on some more garlic. Mix some more with the fork.

Throw on some more… oh. We did that bit.

What next? Well, you'll just have to read the next chapter to find out! Click below!